somehow or other you got to hillwoman.com.
Maybe you've never been here
before, and didn't
know what to expect.
You may have noticed right off that the female energy
runs kind of high
around here, and that a lot of what is
offered seems to be targeted
Being a guy,
you scratched yourself and thought:
this is a chick-site.
Then maybe you saw THE GUY'S PAGE and clicked on that, hoping maybe it
would get you a beer or some meat
or something equally useful or
apology to my gay brothers: Sorry it's a female pinup, but you
guys are mostly pretty cool about this stuff, and really don't
need to be told It's okay to smell good, and help others smell
| Next the weird pinup caught
So you started reading, thinking maybe this
tell you where to find more bizarre cuties.
But it doesn't.
Now you're wondering what the deal is, anyway.
Well, like the old Rolling Stones song says,
"Please allow me
introduce myself . . ."
I'm the Troll. Consider yourself given a
firm, manly virtual handshake.
Basically I'm Mr. Hillwoman. The one who built and maintains this site
for my wife,
the one and only Hill Woman. I do the computer stuff, and I
make the incense
-plus a lot of other scutwork that being a guy has
doomed me to; things like bug squishing,
fixing the plumbing, getting
greasy, etc etc.
I may not be the most macho guy around,
but over the
years I've sold a lot of this stuff to men, and while I WON'T hold your
I can give you the lowdown on what we offer here.
My amazing psychic powers allow me to know exactly what's on your mind
Sex, and the burning question: So what's the deal with this
Hill Woman site?
Is it all girlie stuff or what?
No, not really. Let me explain. And if my explanation makes sense to
and that starts making you nervous, just scroll back up to the Guys'
official Hot Pinup
for a moment to remind yourself that you're okay.
like me, she's here to help.
Most of the stuff we sell here smells good. Real good.
Some of it has
created to make men smell good -while of course not
essential rough tough manly male essence.
A lot of it makes women
And let's face it, good-smelling women has to
rate in the top ten reasons to be alive.
Smelling good and feeling good is what this
place is all about.
Most of the
stuff here are things you might want to get for the woman or women in
Quite a few are things you might want to share with the woman or
women in your life.
A few are things that just might help get or keep a
woman in your life because after all,
while some of us might not be that
easy on the eyes, with a little help we can be thrilling to the nose.
We have a fair number of male customers. They buy things for themselves.
They buy things for their ladies. We know of one who started out buying
for his girlfriend,
and now he and his children make an event of picking
things out for Mom, and another
event of deciding who gets to give what.
Hill Woman has been around a long time, and keeps her customers happy.
Some items we carry are as useful to guys as to women.
explain why it's okay to buy or use them. Incense, for instance.
great incense, and anybody with a nose can enjoy incense.
Ritual goods fall into the same category; men and women alike burn Sage, Sweetgrass,
Frankincense, Myrrh and other aromatics. You can look at
and shop for such stuff
without the feeling that you've wandered
into Victoria's Secret and stand out likea big banana in a bowl of peaches.
The bath stuff may seem to be dangerous
ground, but it isn't, really.
The Bath Salts can help calm and relax you. Their aroma is subtle and
therapeutic, and afterward you won't smell like you were attacked by
perfume nazis at a department store. Theroma is great if you're feeling
Sanctuary can help you de-stress better than hitting your head against
and Northern lights is just the sort of thing for sharing a tub with
you love. Bath herbs are a bit trickier since they're largely to
help the skin,
and a lot of us figure our skin is pretty much on its own unless it's
for band-aids, stitches, tattoos, or grunge removal.
But having a
"Nice skin . . ." in a sort of thoughtful way is something you can get
Giving any of the bath salts and herbs will be appreciated. As for the
the Bee & Flower Sandalwood soap is great stuff for a guy -and my
favorite. It does a good job cleaning, and the aroma it leaves is
stimulating. Any of the soaps we carry could work for you because
things smell different on each person, and any would make a good gift for the
in your life.
Oils. These aren't 3 in 1, or Valvoline. They
smell -and have been known to
lubricate the wheels of love. Once again, everyone's body chemistry is
different that oils smell different on different people.
Don't let the names stop you, either. I've seen big hairy beer-gutted
Huntress for their girlfriends and for themselves. The name won't give
cooties, or create sudden urges to buy high-heeled shoes and a matching
purse. Here are some of the most popular oils for men, by category.
Aromatherapy Oils: Lust Potion, Sanctuary, and Northern Lights.
Blended Perfume Oils: Consort, Day Scent, Gypsy, Wood Scent.
Superior Quality Oils: the ever-popular Patchouli,
Pure Essential Oils: the woodsy scents like Balsam Fir, Siberian Fir and
are good choices, as are the citrus scents like Mandarin Orange, Sweet
Orange, and Tangerine.
If buying for a lady, let her pick. Or be brave, and try something that
like she'd like it. Or get samples -available for $1 each, five maximum
Maybe you never thought you'd buy Potpourri
for yourself, even though
sportscasters seem to use the word almost as often as Martha Stewart.
But a bag of herbal potpourri in your car's glove compartment or
heater vent can help it smell less funky. Some in your sock drawer can
keep them a bit less cheesy, too.
Go for flowery if you want to impress
honey with how great your Rambler smells, or more earthy blends
like Sweet Earth or Green Man if you want to play it safe and not risk
Pillows are admittedly not big sellers with men, for themselves,
though a lot of men buy them for their ladies. Most guys seem to think
that as long as their pillow is softer than a sack of rocks and doesn't
any actual live chickens mixed in with the feathers than everything's
Maybe this will change in this new Millennium -and maybe you can help.
More men have discovered just how helpful an Eye pillow can be at
with the stress of life. If you think one sounds good, but are a bit
hesitant, then get one for your better half and borrow it when she's not looking.
Okay, you're on your own from here.
Catnip toys have no particular sexual spin.
So do many other things we
list. Go forth. Explore. Conquer.
Ask for directions only if absolutely
The thing to remember is that more of this
stuff will work for you than
you might have first thought,
and most of it would be really appreciated
by the women around you.
Let's face it, life as a guy is hard enough. Having the women around you
think you smell good and have excellent taste might just improve your
as much as the invention of the TV remote and the pinup calendar.
Best of luck, big fella . . . .
The Computer & Incense Troll
ps: Was this any help? Let me know! Send kudos and complaints to
Looking for something in particular? The
SEARCH page lists everything
we have, along with links to the pages where you can find it. Easy, huh?