What's in
Festivael? Magic, mayhem, murder, mistaken identities, and an
exceptionally fine tavern. Epic romances, love--and dislike--at first
sight, and lust gone horribly wrong. A pirate Princess, two powerful witches, three ghosts,
several mystical charlatans, one cheerful assassin, a
retired Royal Headsman and his tremendous grave-digger wife, an
innkeeper with a fondness for tragic songs and thin widows, and three
hundred barbarian invaders. Large and small acts of heroism, suspense and
silliness and sex, and a demonic suit of armor with enough power to
level a city. At the center of all these people and situations is one
man: Orban of Brandylse, the Bookworm King.
A
mild-mannered and retiring bachelor in his late thirties, Orban never
really wanted to be King. But the sudden death a year before of his
domineering mother, Queen Julianna, meant he had to ascend to the Black
Granite throne whether he wanted to or not. He avoids the throne as much
as possible, because mostly it makes his butt hurt.
Known to
many of his subjects as the Bookworm King, Orban just wants to lead the
quiet life he enjoyed before assuming rule, with most of his time spent
with his nose in a book or scroll, then indulging in a few other modest
diversions on the side.
Instead his life keeps getting more complicated. His mother might be
dead, but she is not gone, and still tries to rule his life from beyond
the grave. His Chamberlain Peckinger has lost most of his mind because
of the loss of his lover, the Queen; she died during a bout of geriatric
mattress-jousting with him. Peckinger spends his off hours with her
ghost, trying to raise her from the dead.
Orban is
blissfully unaware that a Princess from a lost kingdom who has survived
the last several years as leader of a pirate band is coming for him with
her small, ageing army, determined to make herself Orban's Queen, and if
need be, his widow. A horde of barbarian invaders have managed to sneak
into the kingdom so they can mount an invasion on the capitol. The wealthy slaver Dool,
outraged that Orban has ended slavery in the realm, has brought in an
assassin, one supposed to help him take the throne instead. The insanely
dangerous Dire Armour, the device one of Orban's ancestors used to
create the kingdom, and which has been used by Kings and Queens of his
line to defend it in the centuries since, has become his birthright-one that scares the hell
out of him.
All of
these forces and more will come together on Festivael Day, a celebration
to be held to honor his mother on the one year anniversary of her death.
Festivael Day, when he has to seize his birthright and become a true
king, and his dead mother gets the chance to be the kind of Queen she
never was in life. A day when love dies and is reborn, and a happy
ending looks as unlikely as the sun rising on the wrong side of the sky.
Sprawling, bawdy and comedic, and full of vivid and unusual characters,
Festivael at times evokes and pays homage to such authors as Peter
Beagle, Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman, and
William Goldman--and Shakespeare's various
comedies--as if presented by Monty Python.
The Kindle e-Book edition sells for $2.99 --one hell of a story for
not a lot of coin!
Now available! Want to get it it?
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B4J6O6K
Check out the S. L. Burns SF novel
Zero Day Baby